Alien

I use to believe that I wore a mask for those wandering eyes that would stare at me throughout a day. A mask of a fake smile and a calm facade to deceive everyone from seeing what’s truly underneath. It was a way so no one could see the desperation on my face as I tried to cut the metal chains that held onto tightly me so I would not be able to escape from the past that terrorizes me. It hid of how fearful I was of the demons that haunted me and the fear of my world changing. The mask I thought I wore made sure that world didn’t see how confused, lost, and sad I was most days.
But as I finally reached up to remove this mask of mine that I have wore for too long, I realize that it’s no longer there. Whether it fallen off without me noticing or fake smile had become part of my real face, I am more confused than ever before. For I no longer know who I am. Am I that person who I thought I was hiding beneath a mask all this time or have I in fact become the mask itself. Or in some twisted way, from trying to hide everything I am, did I mistakenly misplaced my true identity making it forever lost. Now I feel like an alien, where no one understands me like I don’t understand myself.