Life Just Hit Us

Life Just Hits Us.

I don’t know when life just hits us, but it does at just one point of our lives. It’s as if in this maze of life, we finally hit a wall and feel like we wasted all the time we had just going the wrong way.

Sometimes it just feels like yesterday being kids playing hide and seek or just running around on school fields during recess. It couldn’t be that long being those kids who played played Pokemon games, collected Yugioh cards, spun Bey-blades around, played with barbies, or whatever we did back then, could it?

But then why does it seem like a life time ago now? When did it all just become a memory? When did we all grow up no longer in the realm of imagination facing monsters created through our creativity to now in the realm of realism where the monsters are real in the form of strangers, friends, family, and ourselves.

I mean doesn’t it seem like life played a cruel trick on us? Making us want to grow up as fast as possible to just hitting us all at once, wanting us to go back to when we were younger…where we were safe behind our naivety and innocence.

Can someone please tell me, when did life just hit us?

All Figured out

I wonder how many people have me all figured out. If all those people who see me realize that not every smile means that I’m happy, that not every tear can be explained even by myself,  and that even when it looks like my life looks so planned out that I’m still in a state of being lost and confused. 

Do my family, friends, or even strangers have me figured out yet? Can they see past that wall that I have created, the act that I’m playing out, and the mask that I have put on to see what I’m really hiding? Who else out there, other than myself, comes close to knowing how I feel, how I think, and what I believe in? Or will anyone ever completely figure me out?

It's scary how fast we grow up

We grow up so fast that it’s truly terrifying. Memories that just seem like yesterday in actuality are ones that have taken place years ago. And we can look back at the pictures that were once taken of us and only see a stranger of the person of who we once were smiling back. The truth is, I think it’s difficult for anyone to fully understand how we became the person we are today.  We realize that life has been such a blur that it has become a titanic task to even remember this journey we took from being these young faces to being older. 

And as we become old in life, things gets taken from us. And we only learn this as we start losing things that we never ever really believed was possible to lose. We learn that we end up losing and drifting away from more friends than you ever wanted to. We learn that death comes unexpectedly to make our worlds come crashing down, taking someone you never could possibly imagine being away from your life. We learn that strangers you never saw coming have this ability to come in swiftly only to disappear with a piece of your heart; a thief that you probably will never be able to catch. Dreams that inspired us to our best become shattered or replaced only instantly.

And we change. We do things we never thought we would end up doing. We go through hardships and moments of such difficulties that you once swore could of only been thought up in dramatic movies and novels. We meet people and lose people that changes everything…literally everything. And we get caught in crossroads, where there is really no right or wrong path to take, but a choice affecting your entire future that is left up to a gamble. It’s scary how fast we grow up. How once upon a time, our lives were only just beginning and now here we are a couple chapters in with no turning back.

Can’t Sleep.

Do you know those nights where you just can’t sleep? It’s as if the moment you just want to close your eyes is the time where your mind feels like it’s the best opportunity to begin racing with thoughts, memories, and ideas. As you try searching for an off switch, you realize that there may not even be one and you will just have to deal with another restless night. And for few hours, you become a philosopher as you questioning the meaning of life and why the world is the way it is. You become a storyteller as you come up with creative scenarios in your head that may never occur. You become a historian as you able to remember your past while missing or regretting it. In this insomniac time, you lie wide awake trying to figure out your life when all you want to do is to stop thinking.

And the weirdest thing is how alone we feel during these moments. How it feels like we’re the only one awake as people a dreaming in another realm. But truth is, those nights that we can’t sleep, there is someone else out there too. There is someone driving the empty roads hoping that it will bring some clarity. There is someone who is on the internet, listening to music, or watching TV as they are hoping it will take their minds of the things they don’t want to think about. And there is someone like you, just laying in bed thinking. Letting their mind race with their deepest thoughts. At the darkness of night, thousands of souls are awake with you…not being able to sleep.

Heart-to-Heart

I love having hearts-to-hearts or deep conversation with friends. Whether the conversation lasts only a few minutes or lasts hours, you see sides of people that you rarely see. And for that moment, the facade that people wear each day is taken down and you hear what people really think and feel. You even get surprised about about the amount of insight they have about the world, love, death, or whatever you end up talking about. You even realize how little you know about someone you thought you knew so much about when they decide to share personal stories or secrets.
It goes to show how so many of us go through each day really just hiding a huge part of ourselves. And for at least one conversation, it’s cool to see this whole other side come out that seems to represent who we truly are inside.

Battles of Insomnia

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend.
How forever turns into a few short months, that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it hurts just the same.
How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is just too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken.
How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

Strangers of the past

Have you ever looked at old photographs that were hidden away and concealed within boxes and albums, covered in dust as indication of how it has been untouched for years? As you stare at images of the distant past, you see no longer recognizable faces staring and smiling back at you, unknowingly to them that moment that they would be one day forgotten by you.
And you have to wonder, how many of these nameless faces and ghosts of your past truly influenced your life? Maybe they were your former classmates or teachers that you would admire or talk to for hours only to be forgotten when you moved to different classes or schools. Or could they have been your childhood friends that you thought you would friends forever with only for that never to happen. It’s even possible that the face you no longer remember was someone who managed to change you perspectives and beliefs so dramatically that they forever changed the course of your life. These faces…these strangers you see in those old photographs could of been old crushes, old friends, forgotten family members, or truly just strangers who were just part of life for just a click of a picture.
These people are the strangers of your past. They don’t just walk into your life, but become part of it only to sneakily step out of it without notice as you guys walk in different paths. These strangers I talk about don’t remain intact in your memories like others, but none the less they just as important to who you are. And as you have these strangers from the past, you are a stranger to the past of others who have forgotten about you. And maybe, you will walk past these faces on the street one day, not stopping for each other because you no longer no them…and becoming actual strangers.